| d e e j |

honestly, 26 was the BEST year of my life.

not even a question in my mind.

although it started in heartbreak, it’s been nothing but amazing highlights this entire year. after the ex and i broke up i did a lot of things JUST FOR ME. that was a sort of freedom that i have never had before and i loved it. being single IS nice sometimes, the independence is something that i did enjoy. time and a place.

now here i am, practically planning my future with jordan. what a year. WHAT A YEAR. 26 was the best year of my life. i’m so excited to see what the future will hold.

today i was reminded how lucky i am to be my father’s daughter. 

i need to remind myself EVERYDAY of his sacrifice and commitment to my brother and i. he doesn’t ask anything of us. nothing. when we were younger it was good grades, now that we are older it’s ‘a career job, financial stability, kids’ you know that normal.

sometimes i am hit with the feeling that i am the most selfish daughter ever and i just take all my parents (more so my dad’s) and blow it on clothes/trips. i am enjoying myself with my parents money. i’m the worst daughter ever. i mean it COULD BE worse, i’m not spending it on bailing myself out of jail or to feed a cocaine addiction, but that’s all relative.

i think that my father has always been like a superman in my life. he knows all the answers ALL the time. today was no different. because he hardly screws up or forgets things, when he does it’s like it hurts that much more. that’s totally unreasonable though. he is human, he makes mistakes, he has flaws. to me he always has all the RIGHT answers and it’s to him that i seek the most approval.

kids, your parents do know what’s right for you. i know that you think that they don’t, but they definitely do.

with my boyfriend, father and brother, i feel BY FAR the richest and luckiest person.

today i spent the day with my dad.

he expressed his desire to have grandkids and looked straight at me.

does my dad know that this is it for me already? he hasn’t even re-met Jordan and he is already telling me that he wants one boy and one girl grandkid. WHOA. when did this happen? already dad has shown more interest in jordan than any of my previous boyfriends. i think that dad knows.

i told dad that i was planning on moving in with jordan in june/july and he was surprisingly supportive. he was happy that i had a plan and let him know. he asked about jordan’s future and then asked me if after a year and a half if we would be getting married? dad also was concerned about sharing babysitting rights with my mom. HAHA! i love my dad.

i can’t even explain the happiness that this brings me. before my mom and dad even re-meet jordan he has already won so much favour. my mom told me this morning that she wanted to make a special trip down to toronto to see jordan. i almost cried again.

the parents are CRAZY supportive already. wow.

my aunt told me that i lost weight… WHAT?!?! i weigh more than i would like to right now. i should really work on that. but then again my mom said that i lost weight too. WEIRD.

also, both of my aunts complimented me on my hair (see picture from previous post). it’s always nice to receive compliments from them because they are the type that doesn’t say anything if it’s not nice.

i should never complain about my hair. i absolutely love it. i’m lucky. i’m fine with the fact that it doesn’t hold curls. sure i sometimes wish that it did, but then it wouldn’t be so perfectly straight.

my family has been asking a ton of questions about my new boyfriend.

here is what you need to know:

• he is a mechanic
• he is a gentleman
• he stands up to me
• he was my first love
• he will never hurt me on purpose

today was no different. i went to see one of my mom’s best friend and she asked a ton of questions about jordan. they were talking about our future and my mom asked me point blank if i saw a future with him. 

it’s impossible to lie to my mother. after a little hesitation i replied with a yes. i hestitated because it’s hard to explain how i can already know since we have only been dating for 2 months. i just know. she didn’t seem surprised that yes was my answer.

she told me afterwards that she had told her husband that she believed that this was in for me. that jordan and i were going to get married. i cried. we both cried. hearing her say that was the acceptance and confirmation that i didn’t think that i was going to get so early in my relationship with jordan.

i have no reservations telling my friends about the future with jordan but it’s different when it comes to my parents. i don’t want them to think that i am rushing into something cuz it does appear that way. hearing my mom said that was just the most amazing feeling. 

so this is it. no more dating for this girl.

i miss him so much right now. i’m such a freaking sap. i can’t even describe it. we text all day, every day. i feel like the luckiest girl EVER.

i’m almost finished the first instalment of ‘the Hunger Games’ and i am trying to study. i can’t make myself do it. 

excuse me while school goes on the back burner until i finish this book.

GET ON IT.

SO ADDICTING.

i’m sorta back from the grave. the last month has pretty much been a blur for me. i have had no time to myself with school/work/boyfriend/friends/events. i am ALL over the place. sometimes i miss the days that i would have nothing to do but sit at home and post on tumblr. then again, i would rather be busy than alone and bored right?

what’s been going on with me? the boyfriend and i are lovely. freakishly enough, talking about our future. i am not scared or hesitant. people might think we are moving faster than expected, but this all feels natural to me. we argue, but it’s us just working our personalities out.

i was looking over my earlier online journal (when i was in university) and i found entries from when he came to visit me in 2004 and then again in 2005. wow. who would have thought that we would have come full circle and end up together? i sure didn’t.

he tried so hard back them to make it happen. this time around, i’m absolutely ready for what he wants and i couldn’t be happier.

at the end of the day. i realize how lucky i truly am.

today i took the step and deleted my ex’s photos from my facebook profile pictures. it was bittersweet. it was weird, i felt like i took them all down instantly because i didn’t want to sit here and reflect on my past relationship.

i obviously don’t want to just delete him from my memory especially since it wasn’t a bad break up, but i think that i have to stop having pictures of him floating around. i never thought that i would have to deal with this right now. i learned a lot from adam. A LOT.

i’m realizing that a lot of my stories will still involve adam. but slowly they are going to start to include jordan. slowly. i’m excited, this relationship is so far working really well except for one issue with how much i am on my phone. lol. he won’t back down from me, i know that and i have always needed someone that will stand up to me when i am being unreasonable.